How to Make Difficult Decisions
Today I want to talk about this TED talk on understanding hard choices:
- When we face a difficult decision and don't know what to do, we usually default to the "safest option" (example: what to major in college OR whether to go to college)
- The "safest choice" is not factual, it's just what the world tells us or we tell ourselves based on other peoples opinions
- We default to this safe choice, because we get caught up in this puzzle: there is no best option and at the same time, the options are not equally good
- The mistake we are making: we assume that value can be qualified in a scientific, factual way (example: happiness + security is the same as length + width)
- But value can't be quantified in the same way numbers can. Because value comes from searching inwardly, not outwardly.
- We all have the ability to create reasons for why we make the decisions we do
- Which means (my favorite part) we are responsible for where we end up in life
We create reasons for why we make the decisions we do. We either make decisions and move on, or we drift and allow the world to make our decisions. Instead of looking outwardly for the answers to hard questions, we need to look inwardly and ask ourselves what we want, what feels right.
This is so cool. We have the control. We get to make decisions based on our own reasons. It doesn't matter if we change our minds later, the point is just to make a decision and keep going.
At first this behavior is uncomfortable. We are so accustomed to stop and stress over difficult decisions, how can we make one and move on without consulting others and making all the usual lists and comparisons? But the more often we do it, the better we will become at making decisions based on our own inward reasons.
And pretty soon you become one of those people who has a life they love, someone who does what they want based on what feels right and not what they think they should do based on what the world tells them.
Yay for us all, our future and current selves :)